- Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
- Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for
- Real Engineers wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not
because they're lazy.
- Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
- Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
- Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their
own shirt size.
- Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions,
watches, and automatic transmissions.
- Real Engineers say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius,
and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
- Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with
a dial tone or busy signal.
- Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are.
Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove
my own car".
- Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with
their name on it and an office with a window.
- Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
- Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
- Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions)
before making a bird bath.
- Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of
"Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
- Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
Page written by Matthew Darwin
3,026 hits since September 5, 1997