Real Programmers

Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.

Real Programmers don't write specs - users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.

Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Real Programmers don't write application programs, they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming.

Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy application programmers.

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12.

Real Programmers don't program in LISP. LISP is for people who flunked math.

Real Programmers don't program in APL. The Wizard of Oz programs in APL.

Real Programmers don't program in PASCAL, or Modula, or ADA, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak memories.

(adapted from "Datamation")



Page written by Matthew Darwin <matthew@mdarwin.ca>
3050 hits since September 5, 1997